Friday, March 27, 2020
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Mommy, not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and miss you....so very much. No matter how old we are, we still need our mommies. Soon we will be laying you to rest beside your son. We will plant you a little garden.
I still haven’t recovered from holding you when you took your two dying last breaths. I think it has traumatized me for life. I keep revisiting that moment so many times a day. But I don’t regret it mom. I think you knew I was there, holding you. You knew you didn’t die alone. I stayed with you. Just as you will stay with me, in my heart, til I take my last breath. Mommy, I miss you and need you still. I wish with all my heart that I’m wrong, and despite my being an atheist, your faith was strong....so if you can, please tell me you’re happy, at peace, still there somehow. You had a hard life and if anyone deserves a happy afterlife it’s you. Know your daughter grieves for you deeply and my life is so much emptier now that you’re not here.
